Living Together and Your Money (Or What’s Left of It)
Playing House?
You had a little too much to drink? He slept over, traded your new $3000 mattress in for a water bed and never left? You had the flu? She came over with canned chicken soup and stocked your medicine cabinet with Tampax? So, here you are—cohabitating. What next? Who pays what? How do you bring up the touchy subject? You’d rather ask your new mate to take an aids test before bringing up the “M” word? Easy. Sign a Cohab Agreement—you can do it online. This will stop Judge Judy from ordering you to pay support to that lazy mooch or that greedy Anna Nicole clone from ending up with your house.
Avoid clashes like “You ate my Fruit Loops…you owe me $2.67!” We recommend his, hers and ours accounts. Same-sex couples, substitute “his” and “hers” as needed. Figure out your fixed monthly expenses. Each of you contribute half of that amount to the “ours” account. Pay expenses like rent, mortgage, utilities and groceries out of this account. Use your own separate accounts to pay for your own clothing, car, gasoline, and entertainment.
Tying the Knot?
Don’t tie it too tight. To pre-nup or not? Remember, when money walks out the front door, love walks out the back door. Suze Orman, author of The Courage to Be Rich, writes, “It’s not a sign of greed, weakness or fear to want the reassurance that you both will be safe, whatever happens, and, in my experience, opening up these issues can bring partners closer together…”
Discuss spending, saving and investing with your honey—preferably not while having sex. Set goals—buying a house, a new car, retirement or your children’s education. Make a budget. Save at least 10% of your income for luxuries and emergencies. Invest wisely—avoid “get rich quick” schemes—no cow dung turbines for you.
Already Blissfully Wed?
A post-nup is a jockstrap for your relationship in the case of death or divorce. Stuff happens—frugal Aunt Harriet leaves you a fortune, you catch your wife in bed with her yoga instructor.
How to bring it up? You say “Now that I’ve quit my job to be a stay at home spouse, I feel that we need to discuss my value.” If your squeeze says, “What value?” it’s too late for a post-nup. If lover boy says, “Now that I’ve inherited the family business, I’m concerned about the division of property,”—put your foot down, preferably on his head—and dial your attorney…fast.
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